'I may now be a four eyes, but I'm not the only one going blind'
Telegraph writer Joe Shute, who has just been given his first pair of glasses
at the age of 30, may not like it, but he is part of a "short-sighted
epidemic" now sweeping the world
Joe Shute wearing his new glassesPhoto: Julian Simmonds
Like most great revelations, it occurred
late at night on a street corner. I was walking home - sober, I should
add – with my fiancée down Seven Sisters Road, the busy London
thoroughfare near to where we live. As we approached our turning, I saw,
no more than a few feet away, what I thought to be an urban fox.
“Look, it’s just sitting there looking at us,” I shouted. She followed
my gaze to what turned out to be, in fact, a large upturned brown paper
KFC bag squatting on the pavement. I was booked in for an eye test the
very next morning. Yesterday, I was presented with my first pair of
glasses.
I say revelation, but deep
down I had seen this coming – albeit through rather blurred eyes. I had
noticed I was going home with headaches following a day’s tapping away
at my computer keyboard; the various names of worldwide cities on the
clocks suspended above the Telegraph newsroom had long stopped making
sense. New Delhi looked like New York. If you’d asked me to point
towards Moscow I could very easily have sent you in the direction of
Sydney.
Yet I had suffered in
silence, reluctant to confess my ailment. Glasses have, of course,
nowadays been reborn as a fashion essential – watch Johnny Depp and Robert Downey Junior swanning around in theirs. But I am a child of the Eighties and Nineties where glasses were most certainly not cool.
Arnie and Bruce Willis were shades or nothing type of guys. Hulk Hogan would most likely snatch them off and kick sand in your face.
Later in life I never bothered with Harry Potter and his thick round
specs held together with scotch tape. Give me Lord of the Rings every
time, and Legolas’s elven acuity.
Our eyes are fading and nobody quite knows why
Perhaps part of the reason glasses are now so resolutely back in style, is that ever more of us need them. A report published in the respected science journal Nature a
few weeks ago claimed short-sightedness is now reaching epidemic
proportions. This so-called “myopia boom” is most pronounced in East
Asia: 90 per cent of teenagers and young adults in China are
short-sighted; in Seoul, 96.5 per cent of 19-year-old men suffer the
same affliction. By some estimates, one-third of the world's
population — 2.5 billion people — could be affected by short-sightedness
at the end of this decade and Europe has also witnessed a dramatic
increase in the condition. In Britain, two million people experience
sight loss of some sort or another – a number that by 2050 will double. Partly this is down to an an ageing population where ever more
pensioners are busy assuring worried relatives that their eyes have
never been better – even as they reach for a toffee in the pot pourri.
But problems are particularly pronounced among the young, with up to one
million children presumed to currently have undiagnosed vision
problems.
The reasons for this boom are varied, but it is increasingly thought
that – as the Nature study points out - a lifestyle largely spent
indoors staring at computer screens is exacerbating the issue. Fresh air
is now seen by researchers as crucial to preserving our eyesight. It
was not for nothing that renowned British eye surgeon Henry Edward Juler
wrote in A Handbook of Ophthalmic Science and Practice in 1904 that when “the myopia had become stationary, change of air — a sea voyage if possible — should be prescribed”. And then there are the genes. Research has identified 26 genes linked to short-sightedness.
Children with one short-sighted parent have a one in three risk of
developing myopia, if both parents are short-sighted, that risk
increases to one in two. A quick scan of family photographs told
me – as with hair loss – I didn’t come from particularly good stock
with regard to poor sight. But even in my mid 20s my vision seemed
perfectly fine so I thought I had escaped. While presbyopia –
age-related long-sightedness – sets in for many around the age of 40;
for some, eyesight can continue to improve until then.
Orlando Bloom as the keen-eyed Legolas in Lord of the Rings
As Karen Sparrow, head of professional development at the Association of Optometrists,
explains, your eyes continue to develop in adulthood. “Generally people
don’t realise your eyes are changing and growing well into your
twenties. Some people think they have got to 16 and 17 and that is
that.” In my case, I was told I have developed an astigmatism in
each eye (the term for an irregular shaped cornea or lens). This
distortion exacerbates my prescription of -075 – a minor one, I know, in
the competitive game of who is the blindest which I now realise takes
place between spectacle wearers. But what a difference my new
glasses have made. As soon as I slipped them on the world burst into
extraordinary clarity and has remained so ever since. I have realised I
had previously been reading newspapers at a distance of about two inches
from my face, where now I can hold them aloft to peruse like a
gentleman of leisure at a country club. I no longer hunch in quite such
wizened fashion over my computer screen. Occasionally, I look down just
below the lens and see my old world swirling nauseously out of focus.
Michael Caine shows how to wear a pair in the 1965 film TheIpcress File
As for getting used to actually now being a four eyes at the age of 30,
well, that will take a little longer. As I walked out of the opticians
and caught a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window, there was a part
of me that thought of the scorn my younger self would no doubt pour.
This was not helped by stumbling twice on the pavement on the way to the
tube as I got used to my new eyes. But a blow to one’s ego is a
small price to pay for the gift of knowing the difference between a KFC
wrapper and a fox. And the present time in Moscow, since you ask, is
17:38.
Betty MacDonald Fan Club proudly presents:
The
amazing, very witty, charming, intelligent story written by our
brilliant Betty MacDonald Fan Club Honor Member - artist and writer
Letizia Mancino.
WHEN YOU DREAM, DREAM BIG
Copyright 2011/2016 by Letizia Mancino All rights reserved Translated by D. Tsiaprakas
Betty,
I love you! Your books „Anybody can do anything“ and „Onions in the
Stew“ are really outstanding! I take them into my hand, and at a stone's
throw I am right away in America ! Columbus and the egg: The great
discovery!
Your bestseller „The Egg and I“ the greatest
discovery. And you and I! I know America: It's true what you are
writing: That's America: Absolutely right! No, even to the least detail!
The landscape and the passion: Do you know the country where pistols
blossom? Brava, Betty, you are describing the Americans vividly,
genuinely, insufferably, brushed upon paper. If I like to read your
works? To read doesn't even express it! I can even hear and see
everything: Nature, culture, subculture.
America has almost
remained unchanged! O those cool Americans! Calculating, stockmarket,
Wall Street, the financial crisis (even back in 1930), the gamblers, the
bankruptcy of companies! The swarming of dodgers and cheaters. People
left without money. Dispair und hunger! A terrible „Worst Case“ (when I
knew but little English I thought it is sausage with cheese).
Still
how impressive is the ability to adaptone self of the Americans: They
know how to enjoy life, acrobats of survival! In the twinkle of an eye
they achieved to adapt themselves and effect the work of pioneers: In
the morning you are a cleaningwoman, in the evening a brothel woman! No
problem!
„The insufficient, here it's becoming an event; The
indescribable, here it's done;“ Mary Bard Jensen, your sister, was the
treasure trove of procuring work: My word, what a power woman with
unlimited imagination! She has recommended you everywhere: Betty can do
everything, also write novels! Go ahead, sister, hurry up! The editor
wants to see your manuscripts! Up to that point you had not written a
single line! Wow! And if still everything goes wrong? No problem: When
you dream, dream big!
Just look, you have become famous.The Egg
and I You know that, Betty? I'll slip into „The Egg and I“ and come and
be your guest! I want to get to know your chickens. I hate chickens!
I'm a chickens slave from North America! O Betty, without these damned
animals, no chance of you becoming famous! „The Egg and I“ you would
never have written! How many readers you have made happy!
Your
book is so amusing! Your witty fine (almost nasty) remarks about your
family members and roundabout neighbours made me laugh so much! You have
been born into a special family: Comfort was not desired: I can't but
be amazed: What did your father say to your mother? After tomorrow I am
going to work elsewhere: Thousands of miles away...He sent her a
telegram: LEAVING FOR TWO YEARS ON THURSDAY FOR MEXICO CITY STOP GET
READY IF YOU WANT TO COME ALONG – That was on Monday. Mother wired back:
SHALL BE READY, and so she was.That's America! Improvisation, change,
adventure. You show no weakness: Let's go! Your descriptions, Betty,
about the tremendous happenings in nature have deeply frightened me.
Continent
America, I'm terrified by you! I feel so small and threatened like a
tiny fly before an enormous flyswatter! Your novel is very many-sided!
The reader may use it even as a cook book! „The Egg and I“ starts
straight away with a recipe: „Next to the wisdom that lamb meat doesn't
taste good unless it has been roasted with garlic“. Do you enjoy the
American food?
O Betty, it's too fatty for me and I hate garlic!
(Betty is presently cooking lunch for Bob. She's continually talking to
„STOVE“: STOVE is Bob's rival; in the beginning I thought it was being
himself). She turns round and says: Well, so no garlic for you. No lamb
either, Betty. I don't eat any meat! I'd actually prefer only fried
eggs. Betty, let me make them myself. Then you try it!
Blow!
„STOVE“ out of order! I don't succeed in turning it on! Damned! It's got
more of a mind of its own than „STOVE“ of my friend, Hilde Domin! Bob's
coming! He must eat directly! „Men eat anything, the swines! Says your
grandmother Gammy“. Is it true? Do you like my chickens? Bob asked me
without introducing himself. Yes, Bob (rude) I love them! I'm
vegetarian. Do you want to clean the henhouse with me tomorrow? A,
you're always getting up so early at four o'clock! Bob, that's not a job
for me! He looked at me disdainfully! A Roman cissy! You need a
reeducation at once! Help, Bob's attacking me! I rather change the novel
immediately and move to the „Island“!
Turkey demands Germany prosecute comedian for Erdogan insult
Jan Böhmermann, one of Germany’s most successful young comediansCredit:
Alamy
Angela Merkel is facing a
political dilemma after Turkey demanded one of Germany’s most popular
comedians face prosecution for insulting its president, Recep Tayyip
Erdogan. The row could jeopardise the EU’s controversial migrant deal with Turkey. The German government confirmed on Monday it had received a
“formal request” from Turkey over the weekend indicating it wishes to
press charges in the case. If Mrs Merkel agrees to allow the prosecution, she will face
accusations of limiting free speech to placate the authoritarian Mr
Erdogan. But if she refuses it could put the migrant deal with Turkey, which she personally brokered, at risk. Jan Böhmermann, one of Germany’s most successful young comedians, faces up to five years in prison over a poem in which he referred to Mr Erdogan as a “goat-f*****” and described him as watching child pornography. Insulting a foreign head of state is illegal under German law, but a
prosecution can only take place if a foreign government requests it. Any prosecution also requires the express authorisation of the German government — leaving Mrs Merkel in a difficult position.
Recep Tayyip Erdogan with Angela MerkelCredit:
Axel Schmidt/AP
Turkey was previously thought to be prepared to let the matter lie
after Mrs Merkel personally intervened with a phone call to Ahmet
Davutoglu, the Turkish prime minister, and issued a public condemnation
of the poem. But the demand to press charges makes it clear Turkey intends to force her government to make a decision over the case. A spokesman said the German government would “consider the request carefully” before coming to a decision. Any impression the government is willing to sacrifice free speech to
placate Mr Erdogan could prove highly damaging to Mrs Merkel. Mr Böhmermann is hugely popular in Germany and could quickly become seen as a popular martyr. He has defended his poem as a satirical response after Turkey
summoned the German ambassador to complain about a song mocking Mr
Erdogan that was aired on German television.
He said it was intended to show the Turkish president the difference between satire and slander. “This kind of attack, including insults and rude statements to a
country's president and also targeting a society, has nothing to do with
freedom of expression or with press freedom,” Ibrahim Kalin, a
spokesman for Mr Erdogan claimed. Mrs Merkel’s spokesman said it would take her government several
days to consider the request, but stressed her commitment to freedom of
speech. “Free speech is not negotiable, either at home or abroad,”
Steffen Seibert told a press briefing in Berlin. “I am saying this to counter the impression freedom of opinion and
art...is no longer important for the chancellor just because she, along
with other Europeans, wants to resolve the refugee question in
partnership with Turkey.”
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